


intertwined

by electrictrashcan



Series: sick of losing soulmates [3]
Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Multiple Soulmates, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unrequited Love, brian is in Loev, jonah is sad, the soulmate thing is that their entire world is the color of their soulmate's eyes until they meet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 01:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20715533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrictrashcan/pseuds/electrictrashcan
Summary: Jonah Scott has spent the majority of his young adult life lying - to his family, to his best friend, to himself. He knows that the jig will be up eventually whether he wants it or not, but he's going to do everything in his power to postpone that inevitability as long as he can.





	intertwined

**Author's Note:**

> u know the drill if u or anybody u know is in this fic just go ahead and exit and also maybe exit this whole dang tag? u don't want this and i don't want this
> 
> this is a work of fiction and is in no way intended to represent the opinions or personalities of any real person(s)
> 
> title and most of the chapters named after dodie songs bc we stan

Brian had been 19 and Jonah had been 20, the first time he lied. Brian had been tipsy and flirty, they had fooled around in bed, and both became somber in that way that only happened after both were drunk and midnight had lapsed without them noticing. Brian had his head on Jonah’s chest, free hand drawing abstract shapes on his collarbones. Jonah had watched him with a dull fascination, the reddish flush that sat high on his cheeks, the way his amber curls splayed around his head like a halo. The ache of knowing this didn’t mean to Brian what it did to Jonah nearly swallowed him whole, but moments like this let him forget that Brian would never love him back.

Brian looked up at him, owl eyes open wide with innocence and curiosity.

“What color do you see?” he breathed into Jonah’s chest.

Jonah froze, numb.  _ I see everything, _ he wanted to say.  _ Ever since I met you I’ve seen every color, from the red of your lips after you kiss me to the orange of those stupid shorts you always wear. _

Instead, he didn’t say anything.

Instead, he took the coward’s way out.

Instead, he avoided the question and shot back at Brian, “what do  _ you _ see?”

He knew the answer wasn’t going to be - couldn’t be - what he wanted to hear -  _ oh, a blue-grey, just like… just like your eyes, Jonah! _ \- but his heart still seized as Brian gave a small, romantic smile and sighed: “dark brown… I hope I get to meet them soon.”

Jonah grimaced in return, because even though Brian couldn’t see his face, it felt courteous.

“Jonah, you avoided answering the question!” Brian teased, nuzzling up into Jonah’s sorry attempt at a beard.

“I don’t have a soulmate, okay Brian?” Jonah blurted harshly, not giving himself time to think or tell Brian the truth or ruin a friendship.

This sobered Brian up. He sat up and looked down at Jonah’s drawn face, worry etched onto his brow.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, dude.” Brian whispered. “I didn’t - I mean, I knew it could happen but I just didn’t think that…  _ fuck,  _ dude.”

“It’s alright,” Jonah muttered back, and when he met Brian’s gaze again, the kid’s eyes filled with a steely determination.

“You deserve to be happy, Jonah,” Brian murmured, before straddling him and pressing a kiss hard against Jonah’s lips.

He knew he should push Brian away and tell him  _ no, I don’t just want sex. I love you. You’re my soulmate. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. _ But he never did, and tonight was no different.

\-----

Laura knew, because of course Laura knew. She raised an eyebrow as he fumbled over accepting Brian’s offer to live with them in Brooklyn, but never brought it up to him. Brian had been effusive, insisting that he would never survive without Jonah.

Jonah knew that  _ he _ wouldn’t survive without  _ Brian, _ but the reverse was little comfort. They still messed around, even after Brian had found Patrick Gill, because he felt… guilty, Jonah supposed. Even though he didn’t even know what he had done - that he had broken Jonah’s heart before ever getting the chance to hold it.

It was a cruel irony, Jonah supposed, to have the man he loved and was meant to be with still care for him. Perhaps it would have been better if he had declined Brian’s offer. But just like always, he didn’t. With a smile he hoped was convincing and Brian’s slender fingers interlocking with his own, the whirlwind it was to orbit the kid began.

The move-in was surprisingly easy; Brian and Jonah lived together with a practiced ease while Laura clucked like a mother hen at their boyish habits. She had only ever yelled at Jonah once - he was brushing his teeth while sitting on the kitchen counter, clad in nothing more than an undershirt and boxers, and she had squawked and whipped him with a dish towel, crying _ we  _ eat _ there, Jonah!  _ Bickering between the siblings was more frequent, but almost always in good fun: Brian would flick water at Laura while washing the dishes, she would hide his socks when it was her turn on the laundry, he would wrestle the remote away from her to force her to watch Riverdale.

Those four months were some of the happiest of Jonah’s life. As thrilled as Brian was to see the world in full color, he was still a ball of touchy-feely energy, and he was still a flirty drunk.

One night, Brian had broken away from Jonah’s lips, breathing hard. Jonah ran a hand through his messy curls, smiling serenely up at his soulmate.

“I’m gonna miss you so much, Jonah,” Brian murmured, surprisingly somber.

Jonah felt his heart clench.

“Just… you know when I meet him, we can’t keep…”

He felt his heart grow solid and brittle.

“I really enjoyed having you, Jonah.”

Brian brushed a feather-light kiss across Jonah’s lips.

Jonah’s heart fucking shattered.

Two days later, Brian got the job.

His whoops could probably be heard clear across Brooklyn. Surely, even  _ Patrick Gill _ could hear them, the way his shrieks carried.

Jonah held the crying man tightly, smiling with no truth behind it and going through the motions of celebration. He  _ wanted _ to be happy for Brian; he really, really did. After all, Jonah had wrought this upon himself. He deserved this, and he owed it to Brian to be happy for him.

The night wore on.

They lay next to each other in Brian’s bed, not touching, but each comforted by the presence of the other. It nearly made Jonah sick, to think of  _ Patrick Gill _ someday laying in this exact spot, only this time, Brian would really love the man next to him.

Jonah opened his mouth to speak. “Bri…”

Brian lifted his head and propped himself up on one elbow, facing Jonah.

“What’s up, buddy?” His voice was light, innocent.

_ You can’t do this, _ Jonah was going to say.  _ You can’t fucking do this to me. You can’t kiss me like it means something, hug me like you care, ride me like I’m your everything. But you do. Every goddamn day,  _ he would say,  _ you tear my heart out and discard it with the fucking trash, before letting me fuck you into your mattress like its a non-event.  _ He would man up, raise his voice, make Brian cry.  _ You can’t work for Polygon, _ he would spit,  _ because I’m the one who’s meant for you. You can’t fall in love with  _ him.  _ I’ve been waiting for you all this time. _

And Brian would believe him, and agree with him, and sob into his arms and apologize for not realizing.

Jonah sighed, saying none of that. “Never mind. I’m just gonna miss you.”

Brian hummed out a sleepy agreement before rolling over to curl up against Jonah’s chest. He looked so soft, with his glasses off and his hair curling around his ears and his hands held loosely to his heart like he was protecting something precious.

Jonah was going to tell him. Someday.

But he never did. And tonight was no different.

**Author's Note:**

> hello gays virg is BACK  
idk why but making jonah suffer is fun
> 
> uhhh stay tuned this boy's prob gonna be around 10k? also there's another cool fun surprise in a few days ;)


End file.
